


A Perfect Day

by Orithain, Rina9294



Series: The World According to Rover [20]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Birthday, Humor, M/M, carts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-02
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-21 19:40:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orithain/pseuds/Orithain, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rina9294/pseuds/Rina9294
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Rodney's turn to make John's birthday special.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Perfect Day

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted March 2006.

"Hey, don’t eat all of it!"

Ronon scowled when Rodney grabbed at the pot, but Rodney glared right back, not above fighting for his meal—especially when he had his cart at his side to back him up. "Fine, McKay, have the rest," he grumbled, instead reaching for a piece of the heavy loaf of bread they’d bartered for at the nearby village.

"John, Teyla, do you want any more?" Rodney asked almost primly, before diving into the remains at their negative answers.

"Jeez, Rodney, people are going to think I starve you," John said, watching him with fascination.

"You cause me to expend much more energy than I used to, so of course I need more food."

"Are you saying that you want me to stop making you expend energy?" John’s eyebrow was winging upward.

At Rodney’s horrified expression, Ronon chuckled. "I don’t think that’s the case, Sheppard."

"I think you’re right." John grinned wickedly and leaned over to kiss Rodney hard.

Teyla sighed and shook her head. "There are times when you should think before you speak, Ronon."

Ronon shrugged. "If it wasn’t something I said, they’d find some other reason. This way I get the food." He reached for the pot.

"Hey!" Rodney exclaimed, breaking off the kiss to grab for the pot. "You said you were done!"

"No, I let you have it because your cart was threatening me!"

Rodney grumbled, glaring at the Satedan. "You can live on roots and bugs!"

John shuddered. "No bugs!"

"Don’t worry, John," Rodney sighed, patting his hand. "Ronon will eat all of them."

"What I’m going to do is shove this spoon up your..." Ronon cut off what he was going to say when Rover darted forward, menacing his long dreadlocks with a pincer.

John snickered. "You should know better by now."

"Rover, it would be best if you left Ronon alone," Teyla commented. "We do not want to see the two of you get into a fight."

"And he’s not actually going to do anything to Rodney," John added.

"Except eat my food," Rodney grumbled when Ronon finished off the leftovers. Rover reversed direction and rolled back to his side, fishing a powerbar out of its storage area and handing it over, making Rodney smile. "Thanks, Rover," he said, patting the cart before opening the bar and starting to eat it.

John chuckled. "If he keeps feeding you every time you think about food, I’m going to have to make sure you get harder workouts."

"If you give me harder workouts, I’m not going to be able to walk!"

"Rover would carry you."

"Hrmmm, that could work."

"That, I’d pay to see," Ronon commented around a mouthful of stew.

Teyla sighed. "You should not encourage them."

"You know we don’t need any encouragement," John chuckled.

"I think everyone on Atlantis knows that fact," Ronon chuckled, causing Rodney to throw a stick at him.

"Jealousy will get you nowhere," John retorted, grinning.

"Of the two of you? Never." Ronon stopped talking abruptly and shoveled more food into his mouth.

"Well, you should be," Rodney sniffed.

"Now might be a good time to change the topic," John cut in.

Rodney grumbled and gnawed on his powerbar while he eyed Ronon, who just grinned.

"I am certain that Ronon will not require your assistance in this matter, Rodney," Teyla said.

"So who’s helping him then?" Rodney asked. "You?"

"I never said I needed help, McKay," Ronon put in.

"Rodney, trust me on this one; drop it." John offered him a chocolate bar.

"Ask a simple question," Rodney sighed, juggling the candy and the powerbar, then leaning against John’s side.

"Nothing’s ever simple with you, Rodney." John grinned down at him, tightening an arm around Rodney’s waist.

"Ha ha ha, keep it up and I’m forgetting tomorrow’s your birthday."

"And make me think you don’t love me?"

"Oh please, like you’d ever believe that."

"I’m expecting something really special that shows how much you love me." John batted his lashes.

"What? I’m not enough?"

"Hmm, good point. Let’s go lock ourselves in our room."

"What room? We’re playing Girl Guides and camping."

Ronon sighed and set the pot on the ground. "Teyla, I think we should take a walk."

"I meant going back to Atlantis, you idiot," John laughed. "And no, you don’t need to take a walk; you just _took_ a walk."

"You call me an idiot and you expect me to be nice to you?" Rodney asked, offended.

"You call me much worse often," John pointed out. "And I’m still nice to you."

"That’s because you’re an inherently nice person; I’m not."

"But you love me."

Rodney groaned.

"All right, we’ve found nothing. We should head back to Atlantis."

Ronon shrugged. "I said that two hours ago."

"How long is the walk back to the gate?" Rodney asked, looking around at the darkness outside the light of their fire.

After looking around himself, John nodded. "Better plan to settle in for the night and hike back at first light."

"I will take the first watch," Teyla offered.

"And just why couldn’t we have stayed in the nice, comfortable village where there were beds?" Rodney groaned.

"Because I have a tent built for two."

"You’d better have that handy dandy Ancient air mattress as well."

Ronon groaned and stood, stepping over Rover to gather their utensils. "Go set up your tent, and try not to make too much noise during the night—please!"

Rodney snickered as the Setedan stomped away. "I think someone’s frustrated." He glanced over to where Ronon and Teyla were talking, and smirked. "Remember what you said about the team being two couples? I think it’s come to pass."

John rolled his eyes. "Yes, Rodney. Ronon and Teyla are definitely interested in each other, and they have been almost from the moment they met."

Rodney glanced over at them again and scratched at his chin. "Huh."

"Just keep concentrating on me, and we’ll all be happy."

"You and Rover, you mean."

"Yes, dear," John sighed.

Rodney snickered. "Good answer, let’s get the tent up."

"We need soundproof tents," Ronon grumbled, making Teyla eye him with amusement.

"Perhaps you might find inspiration," she said serenely.

"Only if I need one for personal use," he shot back.

"Anything is possible," she replied as she rose to her feet.

"We could... go look for sound-proofing materials."

"We could." Teyla gave him a knowing smile before strolling away.

"I think we’re gong to need soundproofing to protect us from them!" Rodney muttered as he fought with the tent.

"I’ll bet I can distract you so you don’t even notice." John leered at him, hazel eyes sparkling with amusement.

"A very good idea, Colonel," Rodney answered quickly, nodding almost violently at the same time.

"I’m so glad you approve." John came up behind him and nibbled on the back of Rodney’s neck, distracting him from the tent he was still doing battle with.

"Not helping me get the tent up is not going to get you in my pants," Rodney grumbled even as he shivered and pressed back against John.

"You sure about that?" John asked, one hand sliding inside Rodney’s pants to rub him.

"John, come on! We’re outside and Teyla and Ronon could come—oh god," Rodney groaned as John played with him, pressing against the spot at the base of his erection that always drove him nuts.

"I like coming," John murmured in his ear, continuing to toy with Rodney until he could feel the scientist’s balls drawing up. "But I’d hate to embarrass you." He suddenly pulled away, giving Rodney a mischievous grin as he bent down to set up the tent.

"Bastard," Rodney panted, standing half bent over, his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.

"That’s Colonel Bastard," John said cheerfully as he quickly secured the tent and unzipped the entrance. "Coming?"

"I’d better be," Rodney grumbled, following John inside the small space and tossing his sleeping bag to the ground before dropping down on it.

"Something wrong?" John smirked at Rodney while undressing, placing his weapons within easy reach of the sleeping bags. "You wanted me to stop and get the tent up, so I did."

"Oh just..." Deciding doing something to shut John up was better than telling him to shut up, Rodney leaned in and kissed him, rising up on his knees to tangle his hands in John’s hair as he explored his mouth.

"Mmm." John shifted closer so he was kneeling straddling Rodney’s lap, his hands grabbing Rodney’s hips to drag him closer.

"Good answer," Rodney chuckled, wrapping his arms around John’s waist to hold him close as they rocked together, the slight friction a delicious tease.

"Good move." John nuzzled the side of Rodney’s neck, licking, kissing and nibbling the sensitive flesh from collarbone to jaw and back again.

"We’d better not be moving—other than like this," Rodney amended, sliding his hands under John’s shirt and jacket to stroke over his back.

"And getting the clothes off. We’re both seriously overdressed."

"Yes! No cold, wet clothes to put on in the morning." Rodney shuddered at the thought and then again when John bit his earlobe.

"Have I mentioned lately that I love how easy you are?" John chuckled.

"Only a few thousand times, so feel free to say it again."

"And you call me a slut. Good thing we’re well-matched."

The side of the tent rustled, and Rodney’s head snapped up, but he relaxed when he recognized Rover’s outline outside. "Geeze, Rover, way to give me a heart attack," he griped, though there wasn’t any anger in his tone, having come so close to losing the cart several months before.

"You’ll make me think you’re ashamed to be seen with me," John said, trying for a pout but too close to laughter.

"Oh yes, the way I hang all over you is just an aberration," Rodney snorted.

"Well, you always try to hide whenever anyone’s around." John managed an almost credible whine that time, though laughter was sparkling in his eyes.

"If they’re around when I’m naked, you’re damn right I do!"

"Actually, I’m down with that. That’s for my eyes only!"

"As if your body isn’t?"

"Actually, I don’t spend much time staring at my own body," John retorted, purposely misunderstanding.

"Other than the hour in the morning to fix your hair."

John glared. "I do not spend an hour on my hair!"

Rodney snickered and leaned in to kiss John before he could protest again. Sighing happily, John abandoned sulking in favor of enjoying Rodney. His hips began to rock lazily, rubbing their erections together between them.

"Need I remind you that we’re still dressed?" Rodney murmured.

"And sticky clothes would be bad." John sighed. "Fine, be logical." He moved off of Rodney’s lap to start removing his clothes, his gaze on Rodney all the while.

"Well, I could always help you get undressed." Rodney’s eyes were locked on the bare skin visible when John lifted his shirt up.

John immediately dropped his hands back to his sides. "That sounds promising."

"Well, hopefully it’ll feel promising too, though we’re going to have to move to get the pants off." As he spoke, Rodney pulled John’s t-shirt over his head, stroking his hands over the warm flesh bared by the move.

"Oh, definitely promising," John murmured, arching into the caress before bending over to unlace and remove his boots and socks. Barefoot and bare-chested, he knelt easily, knowing his erection was clearly visible beneath his pants, his eyes on Rodney.

"Just like this." Rodney leaned in and ran his hand over John’s crotch, pressing the fabric tight over his cock.

"Feel free to fulfill the promise." John stared down at the hand on him, his hips shifting slightly despite his efforts to remain still.

"I plan to." Rodney reached out and gently pushed John to his back, working on his belt and pants as soon as he was lying down, freeing his cock as he pushed the pants and boxers down and sucked on the head of his cock.

John shoved a fist against his mouth to muffle his sounds of pleasure, not wanting Ronon and Teyla to hear him in their own tent only a short distance away. He moaned, his legs spreading and his hips thrusting upward as Rodney’s mouth made him even harder.

Rodney smiled and slid his hands under John’s ass, urging him to move more as he hummed around the thick flesh filling his mouth. Released from his attempt at self-control by Rodney’s obvious approval, John let himself fuck that talented mouth. The fingers of his free hand gripped Rodney’s shoulder hard enough to bruise, but Rodney just kept humming around him, making him whimper hungrily. The needy sound made Rodney shiver, and he sucked harder, shifting one hand to play with John’s balls, kneading and pulling on them as he rubbed his tongue over the head of John’s cock.

John came fast and hard, only his fist muffling the near howl of completion as he thrust into Rodney’s mouth with each spine-wrenching spasm of pleasure. After swallowing down the strong-tasting liquid, Rodney crawled over John’s body, leaning in to kiss him lingeringly. "I want to be in you now," he murmured, hunger evident in his tone. He squirmed over John, ridding himself of his clothes.

"God yes," John groaned, instantly spreading his legs invitingly.

Rodney lunged to the side to grab a small package of lube from his pack, ripping it open and slicking himself up even as he stretched John’s ass, hissing at the tight grip around his fingers.

John moaned and squirmed, Rodney’s fingers sending shocks of pleasure through him. He knew there was no way in hell he was going to get hard again this fast, but it still felt incredible, and he knew it would be even better when it was Rodney’s cock inside him. "Fuck me," he demanded, hazel eyes dark with lust and his body still flushed from his own climax.

"Shhh," Rodney murmured, leaning in to kiss John again before resting his cock against John’s ass and slowly pushing inside his climax-relaxed body, groaning as he slid all the way in.

"God, you feel good," John panted, tilting his hips slightly to take more of Rodney.

Rodney grinned, the expression tight as he held himself back. "Feel free to worship me any time you want."

"Asshole!" John turned his head to the side and bit Rodney’s wrist in retaliation.

"OW! Are you a vampire or something?" Rodney exclaimed, stopping moving so he could peer at his wrist.

"Poor baby." John turned his head and kissed the ‘injury’ then slowly licked it, savoring the taste of Rodney’s skin.

Rodney groaned and started to thrust, unable to hold still any longer. John moaned, arching up to meet each stroke, loving the sensation of fullness and the friction of Rodney inside him. His hands moved over Rodney’s back, petting and scratching lightly, sensitizing the skin as he touched him.

"John..." Rodney whimpered before biting down on his lower lip to keep from yelling as he came. John stretched upward to kiss Rodney, swallowing the sexy sounds as Rodney shuddered above him.

"Mmm, okay, that was really good," Rodney sighed, shifting enough to let John get comfortable before he collapsed half on top of him.

"It always is," John replied lazily, enjoying Rodney’s weight pressing him into the sleeping bags. "Though you did seem particularly inspired."

"Just chalk it up to my love of the outdoors," Rodney snickered.

John burst into laughter. "You have got to be kidding," he finally gasped out when the whoops had trailed off into occasional chuckles.

"Fine, then chalk it up to my love of you." Rodney gave a rueful laugh at that. It got him soundly kissed before John lay back again, arms looped around Rodney’s waist.

"I like the sound of that."

Rodney grinned, thinking of what he had planned for John’s birthday. "Glad to hear it."

"Oh, like you don’t know that I get weak in the knees when you say that," John snorted, making a joke of it but his eyes perfectly serious.

Rodney smirked, though his expression held a certain tenderness as well. "Well, I’ll make sure to say it every hour on the hour for your birthday."

"You want me to throw you over a table in the messhall and fuck you?"

"Well, if Rover chased everyone out first..."

John snickered. "You’d never be able to look Elizabeth in the eye again."

"Then I’ll just have to come up with something else to make your birthday perfect."

"At the risk of sounding sappy, just being together will make it that."

"Mmm, I like you sappy," Rodney chuckled.

"What a shock." John smiled up at him, perfectly relaxed under him.

"Oh hush and go to sleep before Conan and Teyla start making noises that I don’t want to think about."

"Yes, sir, General McKay, sir!" John grinned at him before closing his eyes.

~*~

"Nothing worth our time on that planet," was John’s succinct mission report to Elizabeth the next morning as he headed past her toward a shower without slowing.

She sighed. "Well, Teyla did warn us they were an insular society. Oh, and by the way, happy birthday, John." She smiled at the last.

That did stop him, and he turned to face her. "Thanks. And I won’t ask how you found out," he added, with a wry glance at Rodney.

"What are you looking at me for? Elizabeth’s read your records; why would I have to tell her anything!" Rodney protested.

"I rather doubt she’s had time to memorize every person’s birthday."

"In fact, I do know my friends’ birthdays," Elizabeth put in hastily before the argument could really get going.

"See?" Rodney resisted sticking his tongue out at John by the slimmest of margins.

"Yes, Rodney. Whatever you say, Rodney." John didn’t bother restraining his impulse to stick his tongue out, making Elizabeth laugh.

"Enjoy your day off, John."

"Oh, he will," Rodney promised, waving to Ronon and Teyla, who, at the moment, seemed much more interested in each other than what was going on around them.

"C’mon, Colonel, time to shower and get changed, and then we’re going on a little trip."

John eyed him curiously. "A trip? And here I thought you were going to lock us in our quarters and have your wicked way with me."

"That’s for later; right now we’re playing ‘do what Rodney says without any questions’."

"That’s doable." In fact, if the smile on John’s face was anything to go by, he was more than eager to find out what Rodney had in mind for him.

"Good boy, you’ll get a treat for that later." Rodney grinned, and he and Rover led John toward the transporter so they could head to their room.

"Woof," John said wryly, eyebrow rising slightly.

"Are you saying you want a collar and leash to go along with what I got you?"

John hesitated, thinking about that, and he was surprised by the flash of arousal. "Um, I’m not completely opposed to the idea."

Rodney blinked. "You aren’t?"

"Actually, it sounds kinda hot," John admitted.

"Umm... okay. Guess I’d better return your gift then."

"What? No!" John pouted. "I didn’t mean we had to try it right this second, you know!"

Rover rolled up to them once they were inside their quarters and nudged Rodney’s leg, making him look down. "Ah yes, Rover got something for you; he hopes you like it." He took the small, rectangular box the cart had pulled out of its storage area and handed it over.

Smiling curiously, John opened the box, and his smile widened to one of pure pleasure when he saw the DVDs of some of the greatest football games ever recorded. "Rover, this is great! Thank you." He dropped down to kneel on the floor and hugged the cart.

Rodney smiled in pleasure as Rover extended his pincers to ‘hug’ John as well, then, the moment he was free, retracted them and whirled in circles in a show of excitement.

"I think he wants to watch them with you," Rodney laughed.

"It’s only fair," John agreed, chuckling too as he watched Rover.

"Just so long as he doesn’t try to organize a cart football league; that might result in Atlantis sinking again."

"I think we’ll stick to watching, not playing." John eyed Rodney as he straightened up again. "I prefer other games when I play."

"So I gathered from the way talking about collars made your eyes light up," Rodney said dryly. "Is this why you jumped me the moment we made it back from Olesia?"

"Naw, that was good, old-fashioned relief that we were both still alive."

"Good point, and now that I think about it, I was the one who jumped you, and why are you just standing there, get changed so we can go!"

"Talk about demanding!" But John was laughing as he spoke, and half his uniform was already tossed onto a chair as he stripped down. Once naked, he grinned at Rodney before padding over to the dresser to get casual clothes.

"Bathing suit, Colonel," Rodney commented as he walked into ‘his’ room and picked up a duffle bag before coming back to change as well. "And Rover, will you go pick up what we need from the mess?"

The cart zipped forward to lightly bump into John’s calf, then darted out the door.

"Bathing suit?" John looked intrigued. "We’re going swimming somewhere that we actually have to wear something?"

"Oh hush and get your suit," Rodney grumbled, glowering at John.

John saluted, grinning. "Sir, yes, sir!"

Rodney grinned. "Good answer, Colonel."

"You really get off on being in charge, don’t you?"

"Hey, you’re the one who wants a collar and leash!"

"I’d be equally happy seeing a collar around your throat," John shot back, not entirely truthfully.

"You are such a slut," Rodney sighed.

"Are you complaining?"

"Not in the least!"

"Good answer!" John came through the open doorway and pulled Rodney into his arms to kiss him. "So are you my present?"

"Eventually," Rodney laughed. "First it’s going to be ‘do what John wants’ day, including body-surfing." He shuddered at the last comment.

"No way! I love you!" John hugged Rodney hard and gave him a delighted kiss.

"Somehow, I gathered that." Rodney’s grin was very much at odds with his acerbic tone.

"And here I thought I hid it so well." John looked down when Rover came back into the room, and his smile encompassed the cart as well. "This is a great birthday, guys, thanks!"

Rodney hugged John tightly and nuzzled his ear before stepping back to grab the duffle again. "And it’s only just beginning; you forget, Colonel, I’m a creative genius."

"I would never forget that." John hastily pulled on a pair of sneakers and laced them up. "Okay, ready whenever you are."

"That would have been five minutes ago," Rodney teased, kissing John again and leading him to the door, Rover following along, almost bouncing with excitement.

John grinned when he looked back at the cart. "I think Rover’s looking forward to adding to his collection today."

Rodney chuckled at that. "We’re going to have to build him shelves."

Rover spun in circles with excitement when he heard that, and John grinned. "I think he likes that idea."

"Gee, you think so?" Rodney laughed before he had to look away from the cart. "C’mon, Rover, if you want to go, you need to stop doing that!"

After a final whirl, Rover settled down and they all trooped out of the room.

"So are we going back to our island?" John asked.

"Got it in one, Colonel," Rodney laughed, catching his hand and kissing his fingers.

"That’s because I’m a genius too. And sometime when things settle down, we should see about buying that island or homesteading it or whatever we need to do to make it ours."

"So we can settle there when we retire?" Rodney asked, chuckling.

"Exactly. That’s our spot, and no one else is getting it."

"If they try, Rover will get them."

"We need to get a flag to stake our claim. A picture of Rover should be obvious enough," John chuckled.

"Everyone will run screaming when they see it." They reached the jumper bay, and Rover rolled up into Jumper One, settling himself in his niche while Rodney strapped the bag into a carry space.

"Which will make sure no one tries to steal it out from under us." John grinned as he slid into his seat and the jumper came to life around him.

"Who else is going to be crazy enough to want to stay here?"

"It’s a great spot!" John was almost pouting.

"I meant in the Pegasus galaxy," Rodney laughed.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess the Wraith are a bit of a deterrent."

"We could offer Carson and Radek the other side of the island," Rodney mused. "I’ll bet they stay."

"That’s a good idea. I think all of the gene carriers will stay. And Elizabeth would even if she wasn’t seeing Paul."

"Well, they’re not all staying on our island!"

"Of course not! But there are other islands in the chain, and it might be nice to have neighbors."

"We’ll just call it the Atlantis Retirement Community and have bingo nights every Friday."

"Somebody please shoot me now!"

"How about I kiss you instead?" Rodney asked, leaning over to do just that.

"Okay, that makes up for bingo," John said happily a while later.

"I’ll make it up to you more once we get there."

"This is my best birthday ever!"

Rodney snickered at that. "Just you wait."

"I don’t suppose I could convince you to sit on my lap for the rest of the flight?"

"No, I’m not getting splatted into the ocean because you can’t wait ten minutes!"

"Not even on my birthday?" John gave him the big, mournful eyes.

"My god, are you five years old?"

John just pouted harder.

"Oh for..." Rodney got up and sat in John’s lap, an arm around his shoulders. "Is that better now?"

"Much." John nuzzled Rodney’s neck, grinning like a loon.

"Just so you know, if you crash us and we die, I’m never forgiving you."

"Autopilot," John replied succinctly, turning Rodney’s head so he could kiss him.

"You’re such a slut," Rodney laughed before pulling John in for a deeper kiss.

"Good thing you keep up with me so easily then." John squirmed under Rodney, his growing erection nudging Rodney’s ass.

"Who needs calisthenics when I have you?"

"I’m a great cardiovascular workout."

"And a hell of a ride, in more ways than one."

"Only you can manage a simultaneous compliment and insult," John chuckled.

"It’s a gift as you well know."

"True. But I’m more used to seeing it aimed at other people."

"Well, I meant it as only a compliment if that helps."

"Oh good." John slid his arms around Rodney as he took back control of the jumper and headed down to land on their beach.

"You want me to move?"

"Nope. Though getting our pants off would help. Or at least getting yours off and undoing mine."

"If you crash this thing, I’m going to kill you," Rodney sighed as he slid off John’s lap, not quite following the suggestion as he only undid John’s pants and leaned in to lick his erection.

John decided not to tell Rodney that he’d already landed the jumper. He groaned harshly and combed his fingers through the dark hair, his cock jumping.

"Mmm, you taste great," Rodney sighed, sliding his hands around John’s hips and leaning in to suck on his cock.

"And you feel great," John panted.

Rodney hummed his answer, taking more of the thick length into his mouth. John was reduced to soft, needy whimpers, his fingers sliding out of Rodney’s hair to grasp his shoulders. He rocked in the chair, hips twisting as he pushed into Rodney’s mouth then forced himself to draw back.

"What?" Rodney asked, licking his now reddened lips as he looked up at John questioningly.

"Don’t wanna choke you," John gasped out, his eyes fixed intently on Rodney’s mouth.

"Well, if you fucked me, there wouldn’t be a chance of that, right?"

"That was kind of my point in wanting to get rid of your pants!" John slouched in the chair, heavy-lidded eyes fixed on Rodney. "I want you to ride me right here."

Ducking his head, Rodney squirmed out from under the console and kicked off his shoes as he grabbed the lube from his jacket pocket and tossed it to John before getting rid of his pants, boxers, and, as an afterthought, his shirt as well. "Okay, this is really kinky," he murmured as he straddled John’s lap, for now still standing.

"I’d call it hot." John ran his hands up Rodney’s thighs to rest on his hips and leaned forward to suck briefly on the head of his cock. Rodney whimpered in response, almost losing his balance before grabbing on to John’s shoulders to keep him upright.

"Mmm, good appetizer, now I want the main course." John tugged gently on Rodney’s hips, urging him forward. "And I want to watch you get yourself ready for me."

"So that’s your present?" Rodney asked, regaining his balance and reaching for the lube, squeezing some out onto his fingers and reaching behind himself to insert a finger into his ass, hissing at the cool glide.

"No, that’s just my lover." John smiled up at him, his breath growing heavier as he watched Rodney’s finger disappear.

"Good answer, because I’ve got something else for you." Rodney was panting now, and his whole body jerked as he twisted his finger within himself.

"And I’m sure I’ll love it. But right now, I just want you." John moaned at Rodney’s reaction to his own touch. Nodding jerkily, Rodney added a second finger, then pulled them out and scooted closer, his erection rubbing against John’s stomach while he straddled his hips.

"Love you," John whispered, staring up into the blue eyes as Rodney slowly lowered himself, watching every flash of expression. Rodney nodded again, sucking in a breath as John filled him, but once he was settled in place, he leaned in and kissed John hungrily, his tongue invading his mouth and stroking over every surface he could reach.

John groaned into the kiss, his hands moving over Rodney, stroking and holding him close as he rocked up into him. Rodney’s hands roamed as he moved, plucking at John’s nipples before gliding up his shoulders to tangle in his hair, holding him into the kiss. John whimpered, squirming under, and he slid his hands down so that his fingertips brushed the stretched muscle surrounding him.

"John," Rodney whimpered, rocking forward to get more pressure on his cock, his teeth closing down on John’s lower lip.

"Right here," John whispered, his tongue flicking over Rodney’s upper lip. "So good."

"Um hmm, great." Rodney tightened down on John’s erection and gasped as it hit his prostate. Groaning, John thrust upward, his fingers still teasing the sensitive flesh at the same time. Rodney shouted and spasmed, coming over John’s stomach, his fingers digging into the flesh under them. The sudden clenching made John cry out too, and he grabbed Rodney’s hips, yanking him down to meet John’s thrusts until he came as well.

"Mmmm, good way to start the trip," Rodney murmured, collapsing against John’s shoulder and smiling dazedly.

"You and the jumper together. My idea of heaven," John agreed in a lazy drawl.

"Pervert."

"But I’m your pervert."

"True, and I wouldn’t trade you for any other."

"Good, I’d hate to have to kill someone."

Rodney chuckled, then groaned and slid backward out of John’s lap, yelping when he hit his lower back on the console. "Especially me!"

"Naw, you I’d just chain to my bed."

"I’m beginning to wonder if that really isn’t a kink of yours; you bring it up often enough!"

John grinned but didn’t answer as he stood up and stretched, then wrapped one arm around Rodney and pulled him close for a leisurely kiss.

"So, ready for some sun and sea?" Rodney murmured once he could speak again.

"I’m always ready for that." John eyed Rodney’s nude body. "But we should probably get some sun block on you first."

Rodney snorted. "We should get some clothes back on me." At John’s disappointed expression, he sighed. "At least a bathing suit!"

"Oh fine, spoil my fun!"

"Yeah, I can tell how much you hated the last fifteen minutes." Rodney kissed John again and grabbed for the bag he’d stowed earlier, giving Rover an affectionate pat when the cart finally stirred from the corner.

"That’s different!" But John was grinning as he pulled off his clothes and reached for his suit. "We should start looking for Rover’s shell while we have good light."

Hearing that, Rover zipped to the back of the jumper, bumping impatiently at the hatch while Rodney was getting dressed and searching for his sunscreen. "You two go on, I’ll be out in a minute."

"We’ll be on the beach. Come on, Rover, let’s see what we can find." John thought the hatch open and followed after the cart, who headed straight for the sandy beach that began only a few feet away.

"Have fun on the hunt, boys," Rodney laughed. "I’ll have the camp set up when you get back."

Rover hesitated, clearly torn between staying with Rodney and finding his treat, but after a moment he continued on, content with John’s company for the moment.

Rodney walked to the end of the jumper and watched the pair head down the beach, smiling fondly at them, then heading back inside to get the supplies for the picnic.

"It was really nice of you to get me a present for my birthday. Thank you," John said again, smiling fondly at the cart. "Hey, what about this?" He held up a conch-like shell similar to the one he and Rodney had brought him after their first trip to this island.

Rover took the shell and turned it from side to side in front of his sensor array, examining it carefully before handing it back, patting John’s hand after he accepted it and rolling down the beach again, plainly not satisfied.

"Yeah, I had a feeling you were going to want something totally different from any you already have." John smiled faintly as he followed Rover.

Rover’s rear wheels spun, sending a fine sheet of sand back toward John before he levitated, traveling faster as he glided above the sand.

Laughing, John brushed himself off. "I just meant that you wouldn’t want a repeat, no need to get touchy." He yelped when he stubbed his toe, and while he was hopping around on the other foot, he looked down. "Hey, this is kind of cool. I think it’s some kind of fossil."

Rover zipped back and settled onto the sand next to John, reaching for the half-covered rock. After examining it carefully, he shivered and rubbed against John’s leg, carefully holding his prize in his pincers.

John grinned down at him. "At least I didn’t bruise my toes in vain." He patted Rover. "So do you want to keep going and see if there’s anything else you’d like to take home, or shall we go back and see if Rodney’s managed to get anything done?"

Grabbing John’s shorts with a pincer, Rover started tugging him back toward the jumper, pausing now and then to investigate an interesting stone or shell.

Laughing, John followed along. "You know, it’s a good thing I realize I come a distant second to Rodney or I might get my feelings hurt," he teased.

Rover spun in a tight circle, picked up a shell from the ground and offered it to John.

"Thanks." John took the shell and continued back toward the jumper. "Of course, now we’ll have to get one for Rodney before we go back to Atlantis later."

Rover bounced up and down and whirled around John, rubbing at the back of his knees and almost tumbling him over.

"Yikes, careful there, guy, my balance isn’t as stable as yours. I promise we’ll bring Rodney down here later to look for one before we leave."

Apparently, Rover was happy with that, because he stayed at John’s side all the way back to the jumper, occasionally tugging on his shorts to get him to come look at some interesting bit of flotsam.

John had a hand resting on top of Rover when they made it back to where Rodney had a blanket and mattress down on the ground, partially shaded by the sort-of-palm trees. "Mission accomplished," he reported after dropping down to kneel beside the recumbent scientist and kissing him lightly. "And then some. Not only did we find Rover a fossil, he found me a shell too. So later on we’re going back to find you one too."

Rodney chuckled. "I think I can handle that, and congratulations to both of you on your successful hunt." He sat up when Rover rolled closer, handing over the fossil, and examined it before smiling at the cart. "That’s a great one; you should put it next to that pink rock we found on PXR-735."

"It’d look good there," John agreed, "but wherever you want to put it will be great." He stretched out on the mattress with a sigh of contentment, and one hand reached for Rodney’s, lacing their fingers together.

"Nap time now?" Rodney chuckled, handing Rover back his newest find.

"Sounds like a plan," John agreed, pulling Rodney closer. "And in case I haven’t mentioned it, I love that you smell like me."

"I smell..." Rodney flushed and grinned against John’s shoulder. "Yes, well, I like it too; now hush, it’s time to rest."

"Yes, Mom." John brushed a kiss over his forehead and closed his eyes, secure in the knowledge that Rover would warn them if anyone or anything came near.

~*~

"When we get back, there are a couple of things I need to do, so just go stay in our room, okay?" Rodney asked. He was flushed with both the sun and happiness at how John seemed to be enjoying his day so far.

"Sending me to my room, huh? Good thing I happen to like it there, though it does lose something when you’re not there. Maybe I’ll see if we have any closets or hidden staircases or anything."

"Whine, whine, whine," Rodney laughed, kissing him. "I won’t be long, and you can open your present from me while you’re waiting."

"You mean that’s not what I did back in the jumper?"

Rodney had to kiss him for that. "Well, this is a present you can take with you everywhere."

"You mean that I can’t take you everywhere with me?" John was taking great glee in turning the tables on Rodney after a similar albeit reversed conversation after Rodney’s birthday party.

Rodney growled and glared at John. "Keep it up and you’ll get nothing!"

John pouted, his hazel eyes widening dramatically.

Rodney shook his head and sighed. "You are _such_ a child, Colonel."

"But you love me anyways."

"Something of which I remind myself hourly at times!"

"I’m always willing to help with that." John grinned lazily. "This was a great idea, Rodney. I wish we could just stay here forever."

"When we retire, we will," Rodney promised, kissing John again. "Now come on, it’s getting late and there’s more to do, but to do it we need to go back to Atlantis."

John’s fingers tangled in Rodney’s hair, pulling him back down for another, longer kiss before he finally sat up. "In case I haven’t mentioned it, this was a great day, thanks." He smiled when Rover nudged his foot. "And don’t forget we need to go get you a souvenir of the day too before we leave."

"How could I forget that?" Rodney slowly climbed to his feet and stretched before looking around for his shirt and shoes. Rover pressed against his leg happily, making John grab for him to steady him on his feet.

"Just making sure." Once Rodney was in no danger of falling over, John picked up his own clothes and started dressing.

"Trust me, John, Rover would make my life miserable if I forgot," Rodney chuckled.

Rover bobbed up and down, clearly nodding, and John chuckled. "Good thing it wouldn’t happen." After they finished dressing, John slid an arm around Rodney’s waist and rested his other hand on top of Rover. "Let’s see what we can find."

~*~

"We’re going to need more shelves," Rodney chuckled, looking down at the pile of shells Rover had found for him on their walk.

"We may need to move again, to bigger quarters." John eyed the mound and laughed. "Maybe something that started out as a warehouse."

Rover whirled his wheels in the sand, and he reached out for the shells, trying to grab them all back while Rodney laughed and patted him. "That means more room for yours as well, Rover."

"I’m just glad Atlantis’ systems pull the dust out of the air," John murmured, watching the happy cart scoop up his loot.

"And that those shells aren’t getting anywhere near our bed," Rodney laughed. "Rover, you can clean them off in the shower then we get back home."

"In other words, he’ll be making sure I don’t leave our quarters," John interpreted.

"I love that brain of yours."

"You mean because I don’t get taken in by you?" John pulled Rodney into a hug. "It’s mutual."

"Good thing, because Rover would hurt you if you dumped me now."

"Not gonna happen. Besides, who else would put up with either of us?"

"Nobody, so it’s a very good thing we’re happy together."

Rover pushed between them to rub against their legs, making both of them laugh. "Yes, Rover, we’re _all_ happy together," John chuckled, patting his sensor array. "And we’ll see what we can do about getting you more space for your collection—and ours—when we get back. For all I know, the city may spontaneously extrude shelves in our quarters."

Rodney groaned, shaking his head. "I bet it will. Now come on; it’s getting late, and we’ve got things to do."

"Hmm, I wonder if we could get a bigger room just by wanting it. Do you think the city might open up into more space if we wanted it to? I’ll have to see what I can manage when we get back. Without ending up in someone else’s room, of course!" John finished laughingly.

"We already have two rooms; how much more do we need?" Rodney asked, shaking his head as they walked into the jumper and set their burdens of shells down in a storage bin.

"The collection may soon need a room of its own if it keeps growing at this rate," John chuckled, patting Rover to let him know he didn’t mind.

"We can start the Rover Art Exhibit and give him his own museum." Rodney grinned down at Rover when he shimmied in place at the idea.

"Maybe he’ll take up painting or laser sculpting or something and have shows," John added.

Rover’s wiggles became even more pronounced, and Rodney bit his lip to stifle his chuckles. "I think he likes that idea. Wonder if Radek will give him sketching lessons if we ask."

"Sure he will. And then curse us all when Ciora and Reza paint his and Carson’s quarters multi-colored."

"I’m sure they’ll paint lovely abstract landscapes together."

"Radek may turn purple."

"I’d have to have a camera ready."

"You’re an evil man. That’s why I love you." John grinned as he settled in the pilot’s seat, the jumper immediately powering up.

"That and I’m almost as horny as you," Rodney chuckled, looking back to make sure Rover was secure before strapping himself in.

"That helps," John agreed. "Imagine if you weren’t? My poor hand..."

Rodney snickered at that. "You’d have to be shipped home because of carpal tunnel syndrome. Luckily this will never be the case."

"Like you wouldn’t have the same problem!" John snorted. He swung the jumper around the right and tilted it down slightly so they were looking directly at one section of the island. "What do you think of right there for our house?"

"Actually, I never had that problem before..." Rodney was distracted by the cove in front of them and lost his train of thought. "That’s perfect, and we can have the hot tub by the group of trees over there."

John beamed. "Just what I was thinking. So we really have to officially stake our claim to this island before someone snaps it up from under our noses and we have to hide the body."

"We can talk to Elizabeth—tomorrow!"

"So whatcha got planned for me tonight?"

"If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it."

"Not even a hint?"

"It includes something you really, really like."

"You."

Rodney grinned. "That too."

"Cool!" John gave him a wry glance. "Good thing the Daedalus isn’t here."

"If it was, I’d bribe Hermiod to take it out on a long cruise for a week."

"Gee, Caldwell’s going to start to feel unwanted."

"If we didn’t need the supplies and people didn’t need breaks, I’d be glad to have them stay near Earth."

"Well, it would be nice to not have to worry about Caldwell, but I remember last year when we didn’t have contact with Earth, so I guess we can live with him."

Rodney smirked. "I’m going to remind you that you said that the next time you complain about him."

"I said I can, not that I have to enjoy doing it!"

"Well, tonight we’ll concentrate on things you do enjoy."

John reached over and caught hold of Rodney’s hand. "You’ve already done that this afternoon, and I loved every minute of it."

"Well, there isn’t a party, but I hoped having time for the three of us would be just as good." Rodney tightened his fingers around John’s and lifted his hand to his mouth to kiss it.

"It’s even better. It’s what we get the least of."

"And at least no one was shooting at us. Now hush and fly so we can get back and enjoy."

"I _am_ flying," John pointed out. "We should be back in Atlantis in about fifteen minutes."

"I meant fly faster," Rodney sighed, shaking his head though he was grinning. "Honestly, John, do you ever listen to me?"

"Occasionally," John retorted. "When you say something intelligent." He smirked.

"If you weren’t flying, I’d hit you for that."

"Oh, you know it was too obvious to ignore."

"Maybe you _won’t_ get the surprise I have planned for you..."

John pouted.

Rodney groaned and hid his face in his hands. "I should have had Bates follow you around for a week!"

"Then Lindstrom would be trying to kill you!"

"Carson didn’t try to kill you when you had Radek clinging to me!"

"Carson’s sure of Radek; Lindstrom and Bates are still working things out between them."

"I really don’t think Lindstrom will worry that Bates is going to fall madly in love with you."

"God forbid!" John shuddered. "Wash your mind out, Rodney!"

Now it was Rodney’s turn to pout. "I thought you liked my mind the way it is."

"Not if it can imagine me with Bates!"

"You were the one who brought up that horrid image!!!"

"Oh, get over here and kiss me to get rid of it." John tugged on the hand he still held.

"More making me risk my life to appease you," Rodney grumbled laughingly before he unstrapped himself and leaned over to kiss John as requested.

"As if you’re in any danger. I have no intention of crashing, and Rover would catch you if anything did happen."

"Oh hush." Rodney moved around behind John and began to massage his shoulders, enjoying the sounds of pleasure this drew from him.

"Mmmm, you can keep doing that forever." John let his head fall back against Rodney’s chest. "Look, Atlantis just came over the horizon."

"Well, I’ll keep doing this until we get there, and then I’ll do it again when you can’t move any more."

"I’m not going to be able to move? This night is sounding better and better."

"We’d just better hope that there’s not an emergency tonight."

"Lorne and Radek can handle it!"

"And when the city starts sinking, we can yell at them?"

"Sounds good to me. They can get the shields up, and you can fix it in the morning."

"While you sleep." Rodney kissed the top of John’s head and sat down while he piloted the jumper into the bay.

"Well, they’d better avoid emergencies then, because I sleep much better with you in bed with me."

Once they were landed, Rodney stood up and patted John on the shoulder. "Want me to radio Paul and Elizabeth and have them order all the personnel to sit still and not touch anything for the next twelve hours?"

"Are you kidding? That would be _asking_ for all hell to break loose!" John laughed. "We’ll just go lock ourselves in our quarters and turn off our radios."

"That works too." Rover rolled forward and bumped against Rodney’s leg, and he grinned down at the cart. "And you’ll guard the door."

"We should get him a tazer."

"I keep meaning to get him that laser..."

Rover bumped their legs demandingly, making them both laugh. "We might like the idea, Rover, but I don’t think Elizabeth would be pleased if you started zapping people in addition to pinching."

If a cart could pout, Rover managed it, causing Rodney to rub his sensor array. "Don’t worry, I’ll find a way," he promised.

"And I’ll keep you both out of the brig."

"I knew loving you would have perks."

"That’s me, corrupt when necessary." John grinned as they finally reached their quarters and walked in, Rover making a beeline for the shelves to start arranging his new acquisitions.

"Now, I have a couple of things I need to do, so go take a shower and relax; there should be champagne in the cooler, and your present’s on the bed. Enjoy them both; I won’t be long."

John caught hold of Rodney’s arm and pulled him in for a kiss. "There, _now_ you can go. I’ll be here when you get back."

"Damn well better be or I’m taking your gift back!" Rodney laughed, giving John a final kiss before walking through the connecting door to his official room.

John hesitated between the shower and the bedroom where his gift was waiting, but he had a feeling it might be a while before he had another opportunity to wash the stickiness of sun block, sweat, salt water and sand off, so he headed for the shower first, pausing to watch Rover and suggest a location for one of the shells.

A little while later, a glass of champagne in hand, he was sitting cross-legged on their bed and opening his gift. "Holy shit!" His jaw dropped, and John looked from the miniature jumper to the blueprints. "They did it!"

Rover levitated beside the bed, his sensor lights blinking with excitement as he poked at the tiny craft.

"Rodney really is a genius. And so’s Radek." John reached for the scale model and jumped when it suddenly powered up. "Oh wow, it works!" He thought about it flying, and it started circling around Rover, making John laugh.

Rover whirled in place, gently swatting at the little jumper, obviously not trying to hit it. John grinned and landed it right in front of Rover’s sensor array, letting him get a good look at it. Clearly pleased with the model, Rover tried to grab it and take it over to his shelves.

Grinning, John let him take it after powering it down. He was quite happy to go over the blueprints for now. "I might need to see that again, but I’ll put it back where you decide it goes when I’m done with it."

"So?" Rodney called from the other room.

"You are absolutely amazing!" John replied delightedly. "I love it. And so does Rover, by the way."

"I had to fight him for it so I could wrap it." The lights in both rooms dimmed as Rodney spoke, and then there was a flash of light from the other room.

John half stood up. "Rodney? Everything okay in there?"

"Uh huh."

Something sounded off in that short reply, so John stood up and padded out to the other room only to stop in the doorway, his eyes widening. "Oh my."

Rodney gave a wry smile and looked down at his now feminine body. "I seem to recall you having a fixation with me and tits so here you go; just don’t think I’m doing a Marilyn Monroe impersonation and singing for you."

"Um no, no singing please." John was smiling widely, stunned that Rodney was willing to do this for him. He moved across the room to kiss him, one hand automatically curving over a full breast and kneading it gently.

"You are so obsessed with tits," Rodney sighed, though he was smiling when he slid his arms around John’s waist and hugged him.

"Well, they are pretty spectacular tits," John pointed out.

"Glad you think so, so enjoy ‘em now while you’ve got ‘em."

"Mm, I will. Please tell me you got rubbers?"

"Do you think I’m stupid?"

"Of course not. I was just checking." John brought both hands up to cup Rodney’s breasts and leaned in to kiss him, his body hardening as they pressed closer.

"Uh huh." Rodney chuckled and slid his hands down to John’s ass. "So let’s get to bed and we can check out other things—but I warn you, I’m going to fuck you before the night’s over, so this is a limited engagement set of tits."

"And you think I’m going to object to that?" John rocked into him, his hard cock pressing against Rodney’s belly. "We all know I love it when you fuck me. Even more than I like these." His thumbs flicked hardened nipples, and he smiled, eyes darkening, when Rodney gasped.

"Good answer, Colonel," Rodney gasped as they started walking to the other room and their bed. "Very good answer."

"I try. And in the meantime... what was my record for making you come the last time?" John gave Rodney a toothy grin.

~*~

"Okay, you beat it, but I think I need a nap now," Rodney mumbled some time later before curling up against John and closing his eyes.

"Mmm, yeah, sleep’s good," John muttered into Rodney’s hair. "And when we wake up, it’s your turn to fuck me." He pressed a kiss to Rodney’s temple, eyes already closed. Rodney managed a sleepy sound of agreement before he was asleep.

**END**


End file.
